


What you won't do, you do for love

by chinesefood



Category: The 100, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Clarke Griffin/Lexa Smut, Clexa, Commander Lexa, Drama & Romance, Drunk Lexa, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Lexa, Lexa Lives, Long-Distance Relationship, Protective Lexa, Romance, Sad Lexa, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, clexa au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 17:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6667465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chinesefood/pseuds/chinesefood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>its a twin flames au, they're soulmates ya'lll. highs and lows of the relationship. i'm trying to make this one hurt. but i assure you, they're endgame. </p><p>leave a comment and tell me if this is shitty, or what needs works.  I'm new to this whole fanfic writing thing!</p>
            </blockquote>





	What you won't do, you do for love

_She’s seen the abyss; she has memorized its characteristics, and lost herself staring into it for hours on end. Like a light that dangled in front of you and demanded your attention. She gladly gave all of her focus to the orbs, not quite sure if she ever had a choice or a chance. It was beyond her power, her will, any strength conjured up wouldn’t be enough to turn away from them. The controversial, much-debated topic of free wills existence collapsing onto itself, coming to a conclusion that it merely is an illusion. It has to be, it’s the only thing that makes sense. This pull, this relentless tug. ‘Look here! Look here!’ The force that gradually, but then all at once sucked her in. and god, when she submitted, when she surrendered, she was lost in love._

_She never wanted to be found again._

_Green. Not any ordinary green. Blue tinted and seeped through the vines. Like the Amazon Basin, spread out endlessly, echoes of old memories. Of happiness, love, and sadness surely. Blue intertwined like that of rivers flowing in the woods. Like a firm hug or a watering of a blooming, untamable forest. God, this pair. A fingerprint would be seen as plain and uncomplicated. Intricate patterns overlapping; filled with stories and love. So much love; too much, if ever a thing could exist, it resided there. They screamed out, calling her name. Only her name, and only reserved for her._

“Stop staring.” The girl in her line-of-sight finally spoke, but kept her eyes trained on the pages. Lexa knew she was staring long before she decided to speak; it was something she had grown used to.  She’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it. Whenever she realized Clarke was doing it, it took a lot of strength to subdue a smirk. Who doesn’t like attention?

Clarke shuffled beside her, and released a breath she didn’t know she was holding in, “I don’t want to miss anything.”  The other girl’s smirk was now fully fledged, dominating most of her face. _God, don’t get me started on her smile, Clarke thought. There aren’t enough words, enough mixtures of sentences and conceivable articulations. What could be said of her smile, and what it did to her, out beat the library of Babel by a long haul._

Lexa turned to her, the smile reaching her eyes, though a particular kind of gloom occupied it. Tears threatened to spill. She couldn’t let them fall, for fear of being unable to stop the downpour. She met blue eyes.

_Blue. blue. blue._ _Everything had become blue since Clarke. It trickled and oozed into every other color. Every color just became a different shade of blue. A different version of blue. Everything reminded her of the governing hue. Black reminded her of blue, red reminded her of blue.  It was in all places, she couldn’t escape it. Even if she could, she didn’t want to. She was a victim to the side effects of what it meant to know Clarke. Lexa knew she was simply orbiting around the astonishing planet that Clarke was. She was plastered in and occupied all irrelevant places; irrelevancy signified an absence of Clarke. It was a paradox because in lexa’s world, Clarke could never be truly absent, not ever. She planted a seed in Lexa’s mind and sprouted in all directions. Green met blue. Earth met sky. Lexa never believed in soul mates until she collided with the sky. Until nothing made sense without Clarke. She’s the equation and the answer lexa never knew she was even asking for, but now knowing it was all she needed.  Surely now she couldn’t deny the obvious evidence that such a phenomenon like twin flames, exists._

“I’m coming back, Clarke.” She placed her hand on top of Clarke’s, so light and gentle, closer to a hover than a hold. “5 months, that’s all. That’s nothing.” She continued, brushing her thumb along the velvety skin.  Lexa’s face betrayed her assured tone. Truly, she was on the brink of crying, of holding Clarke in her arms and never letting go, of saying 5 months is too long, I can’t be without you. _I don’t want to be without you_.

But she had to be strong for Clarke. Because here Clarke was, now a sobbing mess with red- rimmed eyes (god , it stung to see Clarke in this state) and a runny nose, which connected with her sleeve every once in awhile. Lexa would normally adore the cuteness that is Clarke, the way she remains beautiful in any condition, if Lexa’s heart wasn’t aching so much.

Her fingers found themselves on wet cheeks, “Clarke, we can do this.” She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince, Clarke or herself. She knows that she can wait 5 months, hell she can wait 5 years and much more. As long as it means coming back to Clarke. She’ll wait a lifetime, because she knows Clarke is it for her. It’ll only ever be Clarke. But she would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared, because seeing Clarke this distraught, well, its concerning. 

Clarke hasn’t made eye contact with her yet, she’s staring at Lexa’s jacket, or maybe beyond it. Lexa is brushing her thumb on her cheeks in an attempt to soothe Clarke, and maybe her accelerating heartbeat, too. “’baby…look at me.” she’s pleading now, the crack in her voice all but hidden, and clarke is a statue.  She shuts her eyes and whispers “please..” like it’s a prayer. The couch hears it, the lamp across the room hears it, and Clarke hears it too.

Her eyes are shot open, staring again. This time at Lexa, unbeknownst to her.  Her slim fingers meet lexa’s and she’s caressing the trembling hand on her cheek. “Lex.. I’m sorry” Clarke sighs, “I..we can do this. Of course we can.” Suddenly, she grabs lexa’s hand, wraps it around her waist as she lies back on the couch, pulling lexa onto her. The brunette sinks onto Clarke’s stomach. It’s a lifeless, almost deadweight-like topple.

Clarke is stroking her hair, though her fingers halt in a knot or two, it’s a perfect moment. A moment they are both acutely present for, a moment they are both deeply ingraining into their minds and memory.  

Who knows how long they stay that way.

maybe minutes.

maybe hours.

Time stretches and lingers, yet it feels like it’s passing by all too fast for their liking. Lexa’s right hand grasps tightly onto wider hips, as Clarke’s stroking hand lies on the small of Lexa’s back.  It’s a beautiful, but heartbreaking picture; brown and blonde hair everywhere, blending into each other. Legs entangled and wrapping around each other, sniffles and heaves fill the room with a soft melody.

“I’ll miss you so much” Lexa speaks through hollow breaths.

“I know.”

“Do you? Know how much I’ll miss you, I mean.”  

“About the same amount as how much I’ll miss you.”

“This internship, I would turn it down if I could now.”

“I wouldn’t let you.”

“I know.”

### Notes:


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